Facebook is hell

Jean-Paul Sartre wrote (taking lots of liberties in my summarization here) that having all your thoughts and actions observed by someone else would create a hell of shame and fear. 

Welcome to our always-on, interconnected digital world!

Facebook is quickly becoming the grand marshall of this world.  I'm not saying Facebook is evil or bad, I'm just saying its tools -- easy updates and posting, photos and videos tagging you, a feeling of privacy in a public space -- work well, and as a result, create a perfect situation for unintended bad results.  It's the metaphorical equivalent of someone picking their nose in their car (false feeling of privacy in public), but instead of just a few fellow drivers seeing it, it's posted on the web.

Canadian woman loses benefits over Facebook photo
Bank intern busted by Facebook
Facebook postings closing doors for job candidates

For years, we "adults" have been tut-tutting the kids with party pictures posted with comments like "Stupid kids, you'll regret it later when you try to get a job."

But this is the world that kids grow up in today.  I met some recent college grads on a Facebook alumni page, and they all had between 500 and 5000 friends.  Every one of them.  That seemed weird -- most people I know, older of course, have between 30 and 300 -- but then I realized they'd been adding friends from every school, every club, every summer camp they'd ever been to, all their lives.  From that perspective, 500 is probably the number of an introvert.

If you got very drunk at a party, you used to just reminisce about it with your friends.  Getting drunk or doing stupid things together and then reminiscing about it was one of the things that bonded you. 

Now, the reminiscing happens on-line.  That's just the way it is today; it's designed that way.  Even against your will, someone else might take photos (Michael Phelps), and often those end up in their Facebook album, with you tagged.  And then, lots of people you barely know -- that guy you took driver's ed with and your sister's friend's boyfriend's karate coach -- are all reminiscing with you.  Without the bonding effects, of course.

Privacy options help a little bit, but that's a finger in a leaky dam.  Our groups of friends and family and business associates overlap and intertwine.  These days, I share jokes and beers more often with co-workers than with "friends".

The only safe option is to never do anything stupid that might be embarrassing if someone took a picture and posted it online.  You never know who's looking, so assume that someone always is.  That sounds like Hell.