The perfect solution for every case

...does not exist.

I have long been an opponent of offices.  Managers sometimes need them for sensitive meetings, but lots of conference rooms solves that problem, and for more people. 

Meanwhile, the local social life of information usually dies at a door divide.  Microsoft is a big proponent of offices, and look where they are.  I say get the managers out into a cube like everyone else. 

But lately, I've been wanting to talk on the phone standing up, because it helps you project your voice and convey energy.  Guess what?  That would bug the crap out of everyone around me, and if I'm facing the wrong way, out of everyone on the floor.  If people see you standing at your cubicle while talking, they will generally assume you're some attention-starved narcissist, which you might be if you actually subjected the floor to your phone calls in a booming voice.

So now I'd like an office, even a shared one.  (I'd also like a stand-up desk while the request line is open.)

Illicit sleeping

Here's a thought experiment for you.

You're working in your cube. Your boss comes to the guy next to you. "I've got some drugs for you. These will help you work better, faster, especially if you're tired. Safe, no side effects. Hold out your arm, I'm going to inject you." Now your boss turns to you.

Most likely, you're thinking, "Get away from me!" It's freaky even if you knew the drugs to be safe, and regardless of how you feel about steroids in baseball.

Yet, most of us do exactly this, willingly, everyday -- even spending our own money because the company-provided stuff doesn't meet our standards.

None of that bothers me, except now suppose I were to take a 20-minute nap at my desk, during lunch. Go for a walk, fine. Browse the web, fine. Call your mom, fine. Take a nap, people would be all over me. At first, they might think I was ill. If it continued, it would either turn into an office joke or someone would try to put a stop to it. If the practice spread, someone would definitely try to put a stop to it.

"Geekapolluza" asks:

I wonder about the social stigma of napping during the day at work - how in the world did it occur? Why does it exist? ... It is something unthought of in our culture - it is taboo. Instead, stimulants are the first choice, and completely accepted and even encouraged.

Geekapolluza is experimenting with "polyphasic sleep cycles". He sleeps only about 4 hours a day, which includes several very brief naps during work hours. Because he builds his entire day around this lifestyle, his work has been accommodating to him, which is also very fortunate for him.

But we shouldn't have to be sleep experimenters to be able to get the benefits of a 20 minute nap. I have, on very rare occasions, managed to sneak in a nap at an isolated desk. I do it more frequently on the weekends. It always leaves me profoundly more alert and productive for the rest of the day.

Isn't that what companies want from their employees?

(Not to mention a double win for companies who are actively slashing their coffee costs -- you know who you are.)